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From: shouji
Date: Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Time: 11:32 PM
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From: Del
Date: Monday, July 08, 2002
Time: 10:01 AM
NO TWO THINGS HAVE BEEN SO DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE & POST PD.
ONE LIFE ENDED, ONE BEGAN WHEN I PUT MINE INTO THEIR HANDS.
I CHANGED LOCATION, PD CHANGED ME.
I WAS NO LONGER QUITE AS FREE
TO MOVE, TO PLAN, TO LOVE, TO THINK.
LIKE HYDE WHO TOOK HIS CHANGING DRINK.
I SAW QUITE SOON THE END OF WORK,
IDENTITY AROUND THE SHADOWS LURK.
A PERSON WELL, WITH SOME POTENTIAL
CAN MAKE A LIFE THAT'S EVIDENTIAL,
BUT, THEN, DISEASED, DISTRESSED, DISCOURAGED,
THE CONFIDENCE NO LONGER FLOURISHED.
LESS AND LESS LIKE THE MAN I KNEW.
IT SEEMS THAT I CAN'T MAKE IT THROUGH.
ALL POSITIVE ENCOURAGEMENT
JUST SEEMED LIKE SO MUCH COMPLIMENT
OVERCOME WITH THE EMBARASSMENT.
I STEPPED INTO ANOTHER WORLD,
A WORLD WHERE NO ONE SEES
THE MAN YOU ONCE THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE,
SMART, STRONG, ABLE AND SURE!
NOW, I SEE MORE PITY THAN
ONE WHO LIVES IN A GARBAGE CAN.
I SEE MYSELF WALK LIKE THE AGED,
AFFLICTED, LAME, INFIRM, EN-RA-GED
BY THE FACT THAT I'LL NEVER BE BACK
BUT JUST GET WORSE AS IT PROGRESSES.
HOW LONG IS ANYBODY'S GUESSES.
MY STRENGTH, MY FOCUS, BALANCE, THOUGHT
NOT NEARLY WHAT TO BE IT OUGHT.
THE PANACEA PILLS PRODUCE
IS SHORT-LIVED, BUT THEY HAVE THEIR USE
AND GIVE RELIEF FOR SHORTENING HOURS
OF "ON" TIME, BRINGING BACK SOME POWERS
LOST IN MOVEMENT, MOTIVATION
SPIRIT, CONFIDENCE, ELATION.
THIS TRUTH I NEEDED TO EXPLAIN.
IT'S MUCH MORE HUMILIATING THAN JUST PAIN.
THE BODY LISTENS TO THE BRAIN
WHILE IT SENDS SHORTED MIXED-UP SIGNALS,
STIFF AND SHAKY INTERMINGLED,
LIMBS TWISTING, CURLING, TIGHTENING.
I WANTED TO EXPLAIN THIS THING
THAT STEALS SECURITY AND BALANCE,
BUT NOT ALL OF MY INNER TALENTS.
D.R. KIDD, II