The Writers Forum
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From_: Emirikol
Date: 29 Apr 2003
Time: 02:46 PM
Darkened, far in the night. Eyes lurk, I wish I did not know. I go through this life oblivious to so many things. Why not one more? Why not my feelings? But I feel drawn, I am swept by a force within me yet from without me. Of me yet a forigener as sweat is to flowers. Consumed by it, it feeds me. I think, I really do believe that I could go for months without food nor water. Would I be turned to the feelings unthinking slave were I to feed on nothing but it? I can’t turn back now because I can’t want to turn back now. I know that if I’ll simply walk away I’ll survive. I could be happy, I could even love. I don’t feel like I could live with myself if I were to walk away, yet I know very well that I can. That’s what scares me the most, I can’t belive this feeling would die! I cannot let life prove my thoughts. When I go, my feelings would die as I would, burning, nobler and stronger than they ever were before. I breathed deep and kindled my heart, I was not a broken man. I was just slightly mad.
A poet claimed I fell in love with the sunset, I’m glad it’s not true, a sunset never happens twice. But my passion would last forever. It wasn’t so hard, dying, all you had to do was look yourself in the face and admit that death doesn’t hold half th horrors life does. It wasn’t the cowards choice, it simply didn’t require any perticular courage. I fear my thoughts are forming, I’ll no longer be frenzied, who knows what nonsense I will think up then.
As I am slowing down, I quicken my pace. Yes… But it didn’t work, might I run crying into the horizon? She wouldn’t allow, there is nothing for me to morn. I wish I could taste it one more time, just one more glass of sweet twilight air. Just one more mgical night under the skies and I would know once again that it’s it’s all worth dying for. Prehaps I am capable of love… under the black sky that snatched my heart, maybe she wouldn’t mind. A whiff of salty air and visions of nothing but golden sea haunted me, I continued my march. Striding towards my self proclaimed fate, dazed.
Silence, darkness, night… it didn’t caress me… it didn’t love me… cold… And concience Before I opened my eyes, I realised that nothing pleasant could be waiting for me. Ache at the back of my head, throbbing. Body stiff. And around me a crude blanket, probably made of animal hide. But then it came slowly, sweet obssetion filled my mind. And I rose.
A tent, not high enough for a taller man than me. a certain pleasntness in the air, a calmness. “A mans home is his fortress” I laughd and corrected my thought “a mans home is his mirror” I lay down and assessed my situation, clearly I was a guest and I hoped that I wasn’t a highly guarded one. I wasn’t tied and was left alone, they might think that was too weak to move, or prehaps they have guards outside… or did they know me? suddenly the whole scene looked all too familiar and I could do nothing but sit wondering in my mind through the maze. I silenced my urge to act with words of caution. And lay back in my so-called bed to see what will happen next.
I didn’t have to wait long, in no more than two hours the ragged cloth moved and I heard a figure step in. “good morning stranger” a femenine voice mouthed, or could it? “How did you know I was awake?” I grumbled at her openning my eyes, she just smiled at me and turned away, she wasn’t very tall and couldn’t be very old, yet she was somewhere past what I would call young. When I was starting to think that I might have to hold out conversation by my own great talent alone, She turned back to me from the now throughly rummeged bag, “why, you just told me” and one more sweeter smile for the way. Suddenly grumbling was not enough, I had hoped for better. Humor?
She didn’t leave me much time to bounce back “you’re sir helv, are you not?” “do I know you?” “would you forget someone as pretty as me?” I didn’t think I could deal with women at the moment, much less whatever she was. But trying to faint, never did solve anything, I kept trying, ever since that first time, I did. But summer or winter, the only one who could make me faint was you. At least I managed to slip. Now slightly off balance, I tried. “you seem to know me better than myself” “I worship the ground you walk on” “who wouldn’t?” I was concieted so would you have been. But it earned me a smile, I should have known by now not to trust her smiles. “one of them is only two feet high, and is known for his sweet tooth and nifty sword, the other is about…” she seemed to be thinking as my mind raced looking around for a wepon, I really think I might have just lifted her and beat her reapetedly against anyone who came through the door. Maybe I’m not a nice person, but I could be just trying to convince myself that I’m not. “twenty feet from here” she finished at last and I nearly jumped through the roof, unfutunatly tent fabric is hard to break with brute force, and as I managed to knock the main beam on my way down (if not sideways) so your very own, and the tent went down with a bang and jill came tumbling after.
I cursed the day I met wood for the first time, I cursed a few gods for coming up with the bright idea, and specifically for making it so heavy, so there I was – under the beam, and beside me – little bo peep. With a smile as generous as a shark’s I thought. I can’t explain what it was that triggered my natural aversion from her, I knew she didn’t do anything that should anoy me, cest la vie. Maybe I just wasn’t used to people smiling at me.
(I'm wandering if I should bother with continuing it)